deletedaccount's Blog

I fucking hate living with my grandma.

I fucking hate not being able to drive.

I fucking hate the fact I dont get to see my brother.

I fucking hate that my relationship with my boyfriend has changed for the worse.

I fucking hate my body.

I fucking hate myself.

I fucking hate who I've become.

I haven't posted in sometime. When I logged on I had a message from a fellow experience project user stating that they've read all of my posts and that they're basically eager to read more. I found this very flattering and sweet. I appreciate this very much. They've inspired me to post even more and take more part in experience project. It's nice to know atleast theres one person in the world that shows interest. :) This post is for you!(you know who you are.) I promise to continue posting daily and I'm looking forward to hopefully getting to know you better. :)

 So much has happened this past year it's almost unbelievable how much my life has changed. I've gained a good boyfriend whom I've been with for almost a year (11 months on the 27th), I've lost my best friend of 11 years (it'll be 12 Aug 25) because she was a fuck up, I lost my mother to booze and pills, I've temporarily lost my little brother because of my mothers mistakes, My Grandmother has liver cancer, I'm moving. Plus I'm still trying to keep up with school and the important things I need to do. I'm severely depressed because of events that have occurred in the past besides just this recent year. Its effecting my ability to concentrate and function normally. I swear every time I turn around something bad happens and puts me in a worse position than before.  I don't know what to do anymore.

 Tomorrow I have to go stay in Orlando till My Grandma and I can move into the house she just bought. Im upset because i wont be able to see my boyfriend. He doesn't seem to mind I'm leaving, he almost seems happy. Whatever. When I come home Im starting Fresh with or without him. I dont have time anymore for people who are apathetic and flakey. He used to be sooooo willing to do anything. Now I get shit from him if i ask to talk on the phone. People change and its sad. I hate people. im better of with out them!

im done

 1. What is your natural hair colour?
reddish blonde

2. Where was your profile picture taken?

its not me

3. What's your middle name?
Renae

4. Your current relationship status?
in a relationship

5. Honestly, do you think your crush likes you back?
ofcourse were together

6. What is your current mood?
meh

7. What color underwear are you wearing?
White

8. What is one thing that makes you happy?
my boyfriend

9. What's the last thing you bought?
moutain dew

10. If you could go back in time, and change something what would it be?
yuh um the situation with my mother

11. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day - what would you be?
cat

12. Ever had a near death experience?
mhm

13. Something you do a lot?
fester
14. What's the name of the song stuck in your head?
none

15. Who did you copy and paste this from?
um idr ^.^

16. Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Nick mattioli

17. When was the last time you laughed so much soda came out of your nose?
Never happened ew

18. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?
yup

19. If you could have one superpower what would it be?
Teleportation yuh thats a good one

20. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
face or teeth

21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?

Nothing

22. What’s your biggest secret?
uh im not telling you

23. What's your favorite color?
purple then pink

24. When was the last time you lied?
uh i dont remember 

25. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?

mhm

26. What's your desktop background?
the same one my mac book came with when i turned it on for the same time lol

27. What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
English breakfast tea.

28. Do you speak any other languages?
no

29. What's your favorite smell?
my boyfriend

30. If you could describe life in one word what would it be?
ugh

31. When was the last time you gave/received a hug?
yesterday

32. Have you ever been kissed in the rain?
yush :)

33. What are you thinking about right now?
have to do some school work

34. What should you be doing?
school work

35. What was the last thing that made you upset?
my mother

36. Have you ever black mailed anyone?
eh not that im aware of

37. Do you like working in the yard?
No!

38. If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
My boyfriends:D

39. Name 5 things in your closet
um yuh no 

 I just finished reading Twilight. I neglected reading the series due to the fact it seemed like everyone was reading them and was a trendy thing to do. I did however watch the movie and much to my surprise I enjoyed it thoroughly. So I decided I should read the book for a comparison to see how much the movie was like the book. It only took me two hours to read the book. I liked reading it. It wasn't as detailed as lets say harry potter but it was good. I will read the next three books and hopefully enjoy them the same if not more.

That's all.

I just cooked the BEST chicken ever! Ive never tasted something so good! <3

Hopefully cory will come eat it!